Still
by Lavenderangel
Summary: Summary: Set before 2-14. Another way Julie could’ve found out about Alex and Marissa's relationship. Complete.


Title: Still Author: Lala Rating: PG Pairing: Alex/Marissa Summary: Set before 2-14. Another way Julie could've found out about Alex and Marissa's relationship. Complete.  
Spoilers: Vague spoilers for their relationship up to 2-13, because I'm still waiting to see 2-14.  
Author's notes: First femslash fic of any kind. Be gentle… will revise/delete if ordered to. I do want a valid reason though, other than 'lesbians are gross.' Disclaimer: Me no own anything. Except my twisted plot… kinda.

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It wasn't supposed to be like this. Her mom wasn't supposed to be mad, not this time. With DJ, it had been different. Ryan had even been different. Marissa knew her mother would hate them, and that's what made her want them more.

With Alex though it was... special. Alex, with her pretty blonde hair and skin silky soft. With her guarded eyes and surprisingly gentle laugh.

With her warm lips and arms that always made Marissa feel safe. When Marissa was with Alex, everything else faded away. Her mom, her dad, all the crap in her life was replaced by gold hair and soft kisses and relief.

They hadn't been doing anything wrong. They were lying on Marissa's bed, something they seldom did. Marissa liked to avoid her mom at all costs and there was just something liberating about being over at Alex's.

But Alex had wanted to see her room. So they were lying on her bed, not talking. Marissa had interlaced their fingers and Alex would sometimes reach over and run her hand through Marissa's hair. The brush of Alex's fingernails against her scalp made Marissa shiver in a way she never thought possible.

She leaned over, making their noses graze. There was something amazingly exhilarating about touching any part of Alex that always made her heart race.

Their lips touched, slow but sure. Alex's kisses were different from anything she'd ever tasted before, and Marissa couldn't seem to get enough.

The world faded away every time she was with Alex, but the door opening and a sharp gasp brought it all back.

"What -" Marissa pulled back in surprise, not wanting to leave the safe haven of Alex's lips.

"Marissa." Her mother's voice was strange; not angry or upset. It was tight and hard and...

Disgusted.

"Marissa... what..."

"This is Alex," she said, her heart racing for an entirely different reason than minutes before.

Alex smiled awkwardly, and Marissa loved her for it.

"Hi, Mrs... Hi."

"Get out." Julie almost seemed to spit the words. "Get out."

"Mom -"

"Get out!" She was shouting now, unlike anything Marissa had ever seen.

"Mom..."

"Out! Get out of my house! Get out of this family!"

Marissa remembers reading somewhere, that once you get something you've constantly wanted, it loses its value. She'd wanted to be out of this family for months, or at least that's what she told herself.

But now, when the opportunity was presented to her - or rather forced upon her - it was as though she'd been punched in the stomach.

She opened her mouth, but the words got stuck on a sob. As though in a trance she got up. She felt soft fingers slide through hers, and heard the sound of her mother's footfalls as she moved out of her doorway.

The fingers were soft around hers, but the grip was tight and firm. She squeezed back, trying to convey everything into that one gesture, hoping that words weren't necessary.

She wasn't aware they were outside until she felt the change in temperature.

"Alex?" Her voice sounds strange; it can't be hers. This can't be her, this isn't happening to her.

"I'm here, Rissa." The fingers tighten, and Alex leads her toward her car.

She opens the door and closes it behind Marissa. In the brief seconds it takes Alex to go around and climb into the driver's seat, Marissa has never felt more alone.

"Alex," she says again. "Al-lex..." the word gets cut in half by a sob.

"Hey, hey. Rissa, baby, it's gonna be okay." They don't use names like honey or sweetheart, but hearing Alex call her baby breaks her.

"My mom hates me," she says. Tears are hot on her cheeks and she can feel herself shaking. "My mom really hates me."

Alex doesn't say anything, but her arms come around her, strong and secure.

When she's with Alex, things are different. They're bright and safe and happy.

At least, they used to be.

"I'm not going anywhere," Alex murmurs, her voice uncharacteristically gentle.

And even though everything hurts and her mom hates her, Marissa thinks she can still see a little spark. 


End file.
